So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
