I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
