Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize