there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Everyone says I win the strip club
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
