she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
