At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize