I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
