problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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