Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
