And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Is it penis luge time yet?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Randomize
