so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
