i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
