Swine flu. Run for my life!
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Farmville is her only friend.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
