guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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