He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I just found puke in my bra..
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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