I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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