did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
