is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
