brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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