I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
