Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
