Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
