I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize