just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
