An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
