im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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