Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
