it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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