my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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