I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
