The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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