"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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