At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I just want to make out with him forever
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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