Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
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