hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
