Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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