I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
