ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
