To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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