Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
No subtext here. People are naked.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
