I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
