Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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