she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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