She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Randomize
