Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
