Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
