I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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