A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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