He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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