I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
