I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
