I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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