the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
