It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
