That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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