ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
These tits shall not be calmed
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
