I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
i need to put some appletini on your dick
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
