I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Your cock deserves a montage
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
