so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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